A Rant on Practicality and Disbelief

Why do so many extremely talented musicians place higher importance on other things besides music in their lives? It's more "practical" they say. They're afraid of the future and are running their lives by the horror stories of unsuccessful musicians that they've heard. What do I say to them? That there are enough practical people in this world to build an elephant bridge to the moon and back! Don't fall for normality. When fear rules your life, you don't live. I have heard the same tales of woeful musicians, and have had the same "career advice" bestowed upon me by well-meaning family and friends. But it doesn't matter. I know what I want, and I'm going to get it. Do I know for sure that I can make it in the music industry? Heavens, no! Do I understand how I stack up against my competitors? Not entirely. Do I care? Not particularly. I have a lot to offer the world and am going to break the limits of practical. I will never achieve my goals if I allow people's doubts and the fear of potential failure to rule my life. I will not know my capacity for greatness until I pour my entire soul into my passion and work as hard as I can and then some. I have total faith in myself and my future accomplishments. Am I foolish? Some may believe so. But I disagree. I think they are the fools for disbelieving the power of true, deep desire.

Music Dreamed Of

There is something so thrilling, so liberating and satisfying about finally playing music you've only dreamed of playing your whole life. This has been happening more and more in my life lately as I've progressed in skill. And it's beautiful. It fills my soul with wonder and amazement. And I'm truly content.

And Then You Get Better

This past week I didn't practice at all because I didn't have time. Literally. Zero time. (Except I got the chance yesterday and snatched it). Basically I had four-hour rehearsals and performances every night at the high school which led to little sleep and no personal practice time for Whitney. It reeeeeally stressed me out. It surprised me how nervous and literally afraid I was because I wasn't practicing. Usually I practice 2-3 hours a day. I have to. Or else I won't get in, or be the top at Jacobs or Julliard.  I plan to up my practicing soon, as well.
Yesterday when I practiced I was taken aback at how good I was. I feel like I got better in the time I wasn't practicing. It was so weird. Or maybe I just didn't remember how good I was. But I felt like my tone quality was much better, a bit more in tune, maybe. It's hard to describe. Maybe it just sounded surer. In any case, it was wonderful to practice again!

And I'm Alive

There's something about performances and concerts that I just love. It can't be explained completely accurately. I think it's derived from being able to share with others the thing which I love most. Expressing emotions, present and past, through the music. Music is truly a wonder. A paradox of simplicity and complexity.
Today I had my first concert with a symphony I just joined. It was incredible! Sometimes in rehearsals or during performances, my brain takes a step back and I listen to the music with my heart. And I feel at home. I'm enveloped in the music- physically, mentally, and emotionally. That is when my soul soars and my spirit rejoices. All of my senses revel in the substance which energizes my being. And I'm alive.

Attempting to Describe Music's Power Over Feeling

I have decided that music from the romantic period is my favorite to play. The method I'm using to learn involves almost all baroque style pieces, and while I don't hate them, they are definitely not as enjoyable as the romantic pieces I've started playing lately.
Right now I'm playing my favorite piece ever- Meditation on Thais. It makes me feel so alive when I play it. My soul breathes along with the melody of the music. When I play music like that, I feel like I can bring out the beauty in humanity, and that's an empowering feeling.
People don't comprehend what I feel when I play, and I don't think even I understand just how much I love it, sometimes. Music takes me somewhere I can't go any other way. The music envelopes me and lifts me out of the monotony of daily life and into a reality somewhere between real life and the faraway place where the untouched aspirations of man lie.
That. That is one reason why I love music.